I post this fic at FanFiction.Net on May 20th (OST is opening before the so-called The End of the World). I hope you'll enjoyed this...

Here's why this 40 never-before-seen footage were scrapped or shelved before it released on Blu-Ray Special Edition in the not-so-distant future!

1. A rare view of Jack Sparrow's hot ass on the camera.

2. A rare view of Philip Swift's godly hot ass on the camera.

3. A rare view of Angelica's 'ay caramba' hot boobies on the camera.

4. A rare view of Syrena's oh-so-hot naked body including her hot ass (in a human form) on the camera.

5. A rare view of Hector Barbossa's shiny bald head (OW! MY EYES!) on the camera.

6. Blackbeard is the next governor of California.

7. Joshamee Gibbs's coughing problem during the battle (on and off set)–he needs a God damned inhaler.

8. The Queen Anne's Revenge's crew bitching' each other (including Sparrow) into mutiny during raves (ho-boy, it sound's like another missing episode of 'Jersey Shore').

9. Lord Cutler Beckett's back from the dead (and he's still in a gay-mad-crush on Sparrow)!

10. Sparrow's old compass replaced to GPS - talked about technology in the 18th century, savvy?

11. Bottle of rum replaced to Jagermeister laced with Ecstasy.

12. Before he's given as captain of the HMS Providence, Barbossa is a failed former client of Tortuga Hair Club for Men was given a wig as a souvenir from the former Hair Club president (he's also a client).

13. Because of his figure, Blackbeard is a failed former client of Jenny Craig. But instead he replaced to the South Beach Diet...but failed again, he stabs the owner.

14. Jack Sparrow's nightmare that he's the one of Anton Chigurh's* hit list (b-cuz Anton is Angelica's jealous old flame).

15. At the cabin of Q.A.R, Swift was praying too much in a threat of being as one of the latest rabid fan service's hit list (Sparrow, Groves and Gillette included *gasps*).

16. Barbossa's missing leg was eaten by his pet monkey Jack–is stoned on weed too much.

17. King George Augustus II is a flamboyant die-hard Lady Gaga fan while dancing alone at the throne room as he dresses himself as Lady Gaga on a balloon dress.

18. A behind-the-scene look of a bitchy reality TV show - 'The Real House Mermaids of Whitecap Bay' on Bravo.

19. Jack Sparrow's voodoo doll was replaced to a funky one-hand voodoo puppet.

20. The Quartermaster is the missing jackass love child of Davy Jones and his bitchy ex-girlfriend (before Dave met Tia/Calypso).

21. The Fountain of Youth's spring is made of Botox.

22. Zombies performed the version of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' before uploads to YouTube.

23. At the Captain Daughter's Inn, Scrum sings 'Hakuna Matata' to 'I Will Always Love You' in his mandola as the patrons threw tomatoes, knives, tables and chairs at him. F#%*!$ light rock!

24. Sparrow was drugged with a dart laced with LSD: he French kissed one of Angelica's assistance in a horrible mistaken believe is Angelica (in hallucinated state).

25. To pour a Mermaid's tear on the Fountain of Youth, Blackbeard forcing Syrena to cry seriously–of watching 'The Celebrity Apprentice' on Blackbeard's iPhone.

26. Giants' baseball pitcher Brian Wilson is Blackbeard's missing twin. Fear the Beard!

27. An angry and out-cried mobs of society local lasses, wenches, pirate chicks, mermaids, cross-dressers, transvestites and modern-day time traveling fangirls are protesting the producers to bring James Norrington ALIVE!

28. The Black Pearl's crew singing 'I'm On a Boat' (T-Pain in a cameo) instead of 'A Pirate's Life for Me'.

29. Alan Garner aka Fat Jesus of 'The Hangover' appeared of 'On Strange Tides' as a rejected Black Pearl crew now enlisted as the Q.A.R. crew with a vengeance.

30. The Lonely Island also did the same path...but not the Pearl or the Q.A.R.

31. Michael Bolton as Sparrow's body double to perform a love scene with Angelica.

32. Ru Paul as Angelica's body double to perform a love scene with Sparrow.

33. Captain Theodore Groves (cries like a baby) forcing to the producers to play as Syrena's love interest instead of Swift...badly. Oh, I could smell fan-fiction...tee-hee!

34. Commodore Andrew Gillette jealous of Groves' leading man quality...later, he requests the Quartermaster to make a Groves voodoo doll for revenge.

35. Groves' anger backfires, so he requests the Quartermaster to make a Gillette voodoo doll for a payback.

36. While he's still touching Angelica's boobies, Sparrow's eyes are opened to the natural beauties of the world and a sequence involving happy things like crashing the waves, flowers blooming, cute lil' bunnies, rain of peanuts and crabs falls over him, gazillions of rum rolled towards him, Gibbs as a tap dancing milk maid, Captain Teague's Spanish dance lessons with a drag queen while he's stoned, Norrington and Anamaria are making love passionately at the Sparrow's cabin leaving half-crazed Sparrow to die at his cell at Port Royal before the execution in two minutes, a sex-crazed love-sicked Kraken attempt to tentacle rapes him, Barbossa and Blackbeard tasered Sparrow in his butthole, Darth Vader hugs him to death, the Creep guys featuring Nikki Minaj stalks him forever, Pacquiao won again in 12 rounds, Kenpachi Zaraki obsessed of duel him next after the last opponent, Charlie Sheen rants himself, Greg the alien shrieks in front of the camera, fake and corrupt politicians, a hoards wild screaming fangirls chasing him then rapes him, etc.

37. OMFG, Michael Bolton as Sparrow's separated conjoined twin (thanks to Tia Dalma)!

38. At the final showdown between Blackbeard's men and Barbossa's, they're killed one by one in an overly slo-mo fashion with the music of 'Hide and Seek' by Imogene Heap (a la Dear Sister).

39. 'POTC - On Strange Tides' opens yesterday on May 20th, but the end is near today on May 21st because our eyes blinded us (thanks to the god forsaking 3D technology).

40. F!#%^ THE REVIEWS! It's only a pirate movie, matey. If one movie critic gave a thumbs down...the entire POTC cast and crew would throw him to the sharks on the Caribbean Sea!

Welcome to the Caribbean, love!

FIN

*Note - Anton Chigurh is the villain character from 'No Country For Old Men' played by Javier Bardem (Penelope Cruz's Oscar winning hubby).

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Also - It's my mom's b-day yesterday, so I pay a respect to her grave and say happy birthday to her (without a shed of tear).